Sit, Stay and Read

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Archive for the tag “First Holy Basset”


I am in total awe of such a liberal and compassionate new Pope.
Clothed in natural vestments to inspire all creatures, great and small, this Pope Sophie 0.1 will inspire her followers to adopt similar cost saving practices. The entire world should rejoice that at last a fitting leader of a major religion has emerged. Long live the First Holy Basset!
—American Cowgirl

Pope Sophie is such a force for good in the world.
—American Mom

I think Pope Sophie had a wonderfully benign influence on the Conclave.
She no doubt suggested to Bergoglio that he choose Francis as his new name.

—International Pope Watcher

It is amazing how some solutions are so obvious in retrospect.
—Canadian Scholar


First Latin American, First Francis, First Female . . .

The new Pope is “breaking historic ground by choosing the name, Francis.”

Even more ground-breaking is his acceptance of, and willing collaboration with Pope Sophie 0.1, the first female and first canine Pope, who was selected weeks ago.

Vatican spokespersons are reluctant to discuss details of this arrangement but admit that Pope Francis is charmed by the First Holy Basset, acknowledging Saint Francis’ patronage of animals.

The First Holy Basset

from March 2013

In her first decree as Gentle Leader of the Catholic Church, Pope Sophie 0.1 established that expensive vestments would no longer be required, pointing out that the world should see her in her lifelong, God-given apparel. In one of her first teachings, she expanded on her all-inclusive beliefs, stating that it would be disingenuous to cover her natural appearance, a coat of black, tan and white that suggests an embracing of all beings, regardless of color, size, shape or creed.

The new pope will wear a mitre for public events but will only maintain one “pointy hat,” as she called it and will eschew the “beanie.” She insisted that monies previously used for the creation and maintenance of papal vestments be directed towards providing fresh kibble for all starving dogs on the African and Asian continents.

Beings throughout the world have been taken aback by the assumption of the First Holy Basset and anxiously await additional news from this markedly liberal new pope. The cardinals are all aflutter, expressing concern that a determined Pope Sophie may leave more of a mark than they had anticipated.


Pope Sophie hears confession

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